I died

What if
I'm dead?

What if
I'm nothing but a phantom
everyone can see, hear, and touch,
almost all the time?

That would explain
many things...
Why I sometimes pass unnoticed,
Why I can't remember
a single thing from my past,
Why I have so many headaches...

It could even explain why
hot and cold temperature
doesn't affect me as it should,
or why my normal body temperature
is below average...

That's it... I died.
It must have been
when I was between ten and thirteen...
I can't remember
anything prior to that age,
and what I've been told,
it forms and image in my head,
but nothing I can relate to...

I'm living my second life...
However, what I really wanna know
is what happened to me...
How did I die?
Why am I now living again,
that's not as important...

And all of that takes me to one conclusion:
She deserves better.
I'm not worthy...
She's alive, and I would never dare to live from her...
I'm only clinging to life, a shadow and the illusion of being alive...

Forgive me.